Beyond Broken
by xEryChan
Summary: The emotion of loss comes to all; but it's far too different when one feels they may have been responsible. The loss of a family member due to something which should never have happened; does the possibility even exist to recover from it? NO SLASH!
1. Prologue

**Hi Everyone! So, this is going to be my very first BTR story and I'm like seriously excited for this idea. Most of you might think I'm evil for doing this but just remember I have FCMD for Carlos.**

**Now I'm not sure if most of you know by now but recently, I had to send my laptop in again for repairs _AGAIN! _(Just thinking about it makes me angry) so I'm without a computer for the next couple of day, which might end up being weeks. If I don't get it back before Elevate comes and we're going to have some real problems.**

**I'm going off subject now. Forgive me. Most of the chapters I'm gonna have to type up on my mom's computer. Sorry for the inconvenience**

**Summary: **The emotion of loss comes to all; but it's far too different when one feels they may have been responsible. The loss of a family member due to something which should never have happened; does the possibility even exist to recover from it? When one's heart seems beyond broken?

**Warnings: **Extreme angst for all of the boys but mostly Carlos and violence.

**Ages: **Logan is 17, Kendall's 16, James is also 16 and Carlos is 15 turning 16 (Yeah, Carlos is always the baby of the four in my FF world)

**Genres: **Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, and Tragedy

**Disclaimer: **Me? Own Big Time Rush? Yeah right. that privledge belongs to Scott Fellows. If I owned Big Time Rush, they would NOT be on Nickelodeon. Just saying.

**Now that all that is out of the way, I suppose I can move onto the chapter. I hope you all enjoy.**

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><p><span>Beyond Broken<span>  
><em>Prologue<em>

It was an uncomfortably gray atmosphere looming in apartment 2J.

Sixteen-year-old Kendall Knight came out into the living room from his bedroom to find his mother on the phone, two of his best friends, James Diamond and Logan Mitchell, in the kitchen, his sister, Katie, sitting on the couch watching some TV with his other best friend, Carlos Garcia, beside her looking at the TV, only he didn't seem to be watching. His eyes seemed blank.

"I understand," he heard his mother say as she turned around and saw him. "We're holding up the best we can." There was a long pause. "About what you'd expect. I'm really worried about him. He completely shut himself out from everyone. He won't eat and he won't sleep. He hasn't even moved at all. He just stares at the TV and won't talk to any of us." Kendall immediately realized his mother was referring to Carlos.

Kendall glanced over at his friend who sat on the couch. He hadn't moved an inch. He remained frozen in his spot on the couch. "Well, thank you for calling, Keith," Mrs. Knight said. Kendall realized his mother was speaking to his father on the phone. "Okay, we'll see you at the funeral. Bye."

The second Mrs. Knight placed the phone on the counter, it began to ring. Mrs. Knight sighed. She picked the phone up and hung it up.

Kendall was surprised at her actions. "Aren't you going to answer that?"

Mrs. Knight shook her head and placed the phone back on the counter before she turned her attention to her son. "Reporters have been calling all day, I'm not interested in dealing with every one of them."

Kendall rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, before he let it out slowly. The phone rang again and when his mother didn't answer, he picked it up and answered it himself. "Listen, you bottom feeding vultures." Kendall's voice was full of anger as he spoke. "Stop sucking the life out of my family and friends, we have worries of our own."

"Well, hello to you too, Kendall," he heard his grandmother say.

Kendall's eyes widened. "O-oh, I'm so sorry, Grandma. I thought you were some reporter calling to harass us and Carlos."

"Don't worry, Kendall. It's okay. Can I talk to your mother?"

"Yeah, let me give you to her," Kendall said as he passed the phone over to his mother.

"Hi, Mom," Mrs. Knight began. She turned her back to Kendall and leaned over. "Yeah, things are kind of crazy here. I'm going to have you call you back later." Mrs. Knight paused for a second. "Ok, Mom. Bye."

After that, Mrs. Knight hung the phone up and put it down. She turned her head towards the direction of the couch and took a long, good look at Carlos. The lack of sleep and food was clearly taking its toll on his body. His face seemed paler than usual, as if on the onset of getting sick, and the rest of his features appeared gaunter.

"Hey Carlos! Look!" Katie called out to the small boy, who didn't budge. He just kept staring off into space. "Pokemon is on. That's your favorite show." It was true. Carlos really did enjoy Pokemon. It didn't matter if it was the games or the show; Carlos had always been a fan of Pokémon, ever since he was a child.

The Latin teenager didn't react in the slightest. Not even a twitch, or a glance.

"Nothing," said Katie, clearly shocked. She was so sure Pokemon would have pulled Carlos out of his current state, especially with the emotion it often brought out of him.

Before anyone could say anything else, James and Logan came out of the kitchen, Logan carrying a plate with him. James took a seat on the other side of Carlos and Logan stood in front of him. "Hey Carlos, you must be starving," Logan said, holding the plate in front of Carlos. All he got in return was silence. "James and I made a sandwich for you."

Silence.

"Come on, Carlos," James called out, trying to get Carlos' attention. "Please. You have to eat something. This isn't healthy." But it was no use. The Hispanic teen paid no attention to him.

Kendall was beyond worried. No matter how hard anyone tried to snap Carlos out of the grief-induced state he was in, they just couldn't. Kendall wasn't about to lose one of his best friends to grief. Without a word, Kendall knelt down in front of his youngest friend. "Carlos, I know you must be blaming yourself right now for what happened." Kendall paused and looked his friend. Nothing. Carlos wouldn't even pick his head up to make eye contact with him. Kendall sighed and gently placed his hand on Carlos' shoulder before he continued. "It wasn't your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. It was an accident. No one blames you."

He took a deep breath. "He wouldn't blame you." He looked at his friend and noticed some tears had made their way down Carlos' cheek.

Carlos mumbled something but Kendall wasn't quite sure of what though. "What was that, Carlos?"

"You don't understand." Carlos spoke louder and clearer then he had before. But, there was a chilling coldness behind the tone; there was no remorse sparing any lapse of understanding Kendall may have experienced. It was pure hurt in that voice, hurt combined with frustration.

Frustration and helplessness.

"But I want to try my best for you, all of us do, you know that. We've been through thick and thin, this is no exception. Still," Kendall's tone turned more serious, "you have to tell us this before we can do anything: what do you mean by what you said? What is it that I don't understand?"

Carlos picked his head and made eye contact with Kendall, causing the blond to gasp when he saw Carlos' face. The Latino's cheeks were tear-strained and his eyes brimmed with tears. The childlike sparkle that his chocolate brown orbs held had disappeared and carried a dull void instead. "Do you have idea what its like knowing you are the reason why someone you love dead? No! You don't, Kendall!"

"I said this before, Carlos, and I'll say it again. This is _not_ your fault. He knew he was putting himself at risk when he did what he did. He was trying to save you, Carlos."

"Kendall..." Carlos began in a low mumble, then raised his voice above a hoarse whisper, "how is this not my fault?" Some more fresh tears began to well up in Carlos' eyes. "My father got shot trying to save me. My father _died_ trying to save me." Carlos could no longer hold his emotions in. The tears began to fall freely down his cheeks. "H-how can you say this isn't my fault?"

The flood gates broke at that point and Carlos cried harder then he had ever cried in his life. Kendall said nothing, he didn't know what to say. He just took a seat beside Carlos on the couch and pulled him into a strong embrace, letting the Latino cry into his shoulder. He looked over at James, who sat on the other side of Carlos. The brunette was rubbing soft circles into Carlos' back, trying to comfort the teen. He looked up at Kendall and gave the blond a stern look, causing Kendall to give him a helpless shrug.

With that, Kendall turned his attention back to Carlos. He felt the tears soaking his shirt but he paid no attention to it. The only thing on his mind was his friend. He tightened his grip on Carlos and let a few tears of his own fall. "It's okay, Carlos." He tried to reassure Carlos. He used his free hand to wipe his own tears away. "We'll get through this together, I promise."

But Kendall just couldn't seem to believe that himself.

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><p><strong>Sorry if I made any of the boys OOC in this story. I tried. I know most of you wanna kill me right about now for doing that to poor little Carlitos. Sorry, I had to do it.<strong>

**I know it's short but just bear with me. This is just the prologue. The actual chapters will be longer, I can promise you that.**

**A _very _big thanks to EarthBolt-Infinite for the summary. The title is all mine but it's Bolt who came up with the summary. Thanks so much for all the help you've given me, Bolt. I seriously don't know what I would do without you. You're the best, B! Heck, you're a live saver! (This is the part where you ask me what flavor xDD) LOVE ya B.**

**I'm beyond excited for '_Elevate_' (if you don't know what 'Elevate' is by now, then you're an idiot. 11/21/11! Why can't it come out now?)**

**Thats it for now, guys. Please tell me you think by giving me some feedback. Feedback not only equals a very happy Erin but it also makes the world spin around. Hehe xD. Had to say that.**

**I hope you all enjoyed this story and thanks for taking the time to read it. It makes me so happy. **


	2. Chapter 1

**A/N: Yes, your eyes do not decieve you. I am actually updating. **

**So sorry about the long delay when it came to updating this story. I did not forget about this story, I promise. It just took me a while to figure what to write for the first chapter. Massive apologies everyone and thanks for waiting so patiently.**

**There is no excuse, I know. You all should know by now that I am slow when it comes to updating.**

**Just thought I'd mention that I am just so excited for 24/seven. Oh my god, I can't wait any longer. This album is going to be amazing. I've already listened to all the songs and they definitely don't disappoint. FOUR MORE DAYS GUYS! It just can't come fast enough.**

**Disclaimer: **How many times do I have to say this? I don't own Big Time Rush. This is kind of getting repetitive now.

**Anyways, here is the first chapter of Beyond Broken. Enjoy..**

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><p><span>Beyond Broken<br>_Chapter 1  
><span>_

Things just weren't supposed to end up like this.

It was a mystery to Carlos why there were such cruel people in the world. People who would do whatever they had to do to get their way, not caring about who may end up getting hurt or killed in the process. Being the son of a police chief, he knows just how crazy some people are and what they were capable of.

But he never thought in a million years he would ever go through something like he currently was.

Carlos shifted uncomfortably, arms firmly behind him bound by a clear, plastic cable tie, which was tied agonizingly tight around his wrists as he, along with Kendall, James, and Logan, sat against the wall inside of Rocque records.

It was supposed to be just another ordinary day for the members of a band called Big Time Rush.

The four boys made their way to Rocque Records early, around eight AM. Their manager, Gustavo Rocque, and his assistant, Kelly Wainwright, came out of the building as soon as they walked up.

Turns out, they had been called into a meeting with Gustavo's boss, Arthur Griffin, who was the head CEO of RCM CBT Global Net Sanyoid corporation. There was no telling how long the meeting was going to be so Gustavo told the four boys to remain at Rocque Records until the meeting ended before he got into a limousine and left.

The four boys then entered the building, heading towards the studio. But as soon as they entered the studio, they saw two men rummaging through some of the papers on Kelly's desk. And, to their horror, both of the men were armed with guns. One of the men noticed them and aimed his gun at them, telling them if they ran out the door, he wouldn't hesitate to kill them. Each of the boys looked at him, terrified and to prove he was serious, he aimed his gun towards the ceiling and fired.

And that's how they ended up in this situation.

They had been sitting against this wall for a good hour with their hands bound as the two men continued to search Rocque Records for something. None of the boys had a clue what they were looking for and they didn't bother to ask. They were just too scared to say anything so they sat there quietly, not wanting to bother the men.

Out of the corner of his eye, Carlos could see Kendall, who sat next to him, carefully sliding his bound hands in his back pocket. He looked up at the men. Luckily for him, they did not seem to notice what the blond boy was doing.

James, on the other hand, had. "Dude," he whispered, so the men wouldn't hear him. "What are you doing?"

The blond looked up at him, slowly taking his cell phone out of his back pocket. "Trying to get help."

"You know what these guys will do if they see you using your phone, right?" Of course Kendall knows. But James just had to ask.

Kendall looked up at James. "I have to try."

With that, Kendall unlocked his phone before taking one quick glance at the men, who luckily hadn't seemed to notice what he was doing.

"Hey!" Kendall heard as soon as he pressed the send button. He looked up to see both men staring at him. "What do you think you're doing?" The shorter man approached him and roughly grabbed his arm and forced him to stand, causing Kendall to lose his grip on his cell phone and drop it.

The taller man noticed the blond's phone on the ground and he bent down to pick it up. "Trying to be slick, huh?" He then proceeded to throw the phone on the ground and step on it hard, causing it to break.

Kendall's jaw dropped as he watched the man smash his phone into pieces. He looked up at the man in anger but he didn't dare to say anything.

The man just glared him before he angrily smacked the blond upside his head, hard. Kendall's knees buckled from underneath him and he fell to the ground. He was about sit up when he was kicked hard in the stomach, causing him to scream in pain.

All James, Carlos, and Logan could do was watch as Kendall was getting beaten up. Carlos felt helpless. He couldn't do anything to help Kendall and that was driving him crazy.

After what seemed like a lifetime to Kendall, the blows to his stomach stopped. He was then hauled up by his hair, causing him to groan pain. The man grabbed him by his shirt, and pulled him closer. "Next time it'll be worse." He spat. "I suggest you don't try my patience again, blondie. I have no problem putting a bullet through that thick skull of yours."

Next thing Kendall knew, he was shoved against the wall. He cried out in pain when his head hit the wall hard. He slid back down the wall, between Carlos and James. He glared up at the smaller man when he saw him looking at what would have been his cell phone. "Oops, that must have been expensive." He mocked the boy before laughing. "Your loss."

He smirked at the Kendall before going back to Kelly's desk.

A half hour must have passed before one of the men slammed his gun down on Kelly's desk hard and there was no mistaking he was angry. "Dammit!" He shouted. "It's not here!"

"Calm down, will you," he sighed and then continued, "it has to be here. Where else could it be?"

The smaller man looked at the wall where the four teens sat. "Stay here with the kids," he ordered. "I'm going to search the rest of the building." With that, he walked out of the studio. The four teens watched helplessly as the other man sat down on Kelly's desk and waited for his partner to come back.

Carlos struggled to free his hands from their bonds but it was no use. The cable was tied too tightly around his wrists.

About ten minutes later, the other man came back in the room. He immediately went right up to his partner and whispered something in his ear. The other man looked over at the four teens and walked up to Carlos. "How do we get into your boss's office, shorty?"

Carlos couldn't seem to find his voice in order to answer him. The man didn't like the silence and took his gun out, pointing it at Carlos' temple. "Tell me how to get into your boss's office now, kid."

Carlos was shaking in fear at this point. "H-he always locks his office up when he leaves. N-none of us have the key to get in." He stammered out.

"Son of a-" the man started to say before he was cut off by the phone on the wall ringing. It was either Gustavo or Kelly, Carlos was sure. The shorter man looked confused as to what he supposed to do. He walked up to the phone and looked at his partner, who stood in front of Carlos, and nodded. The taller man roughly grabbed a hold of Carlos' arm and pulled him up before dragging him over to where the other man was standing. "Hello?"

Carlos could hear a feminine voice on the other end and knew it was Kelly but couldn't quite make out what she said.

"You don't need to worry about who I am." The man answered, "I know who you are and I can assure you things will not end well if you don't get me what I'm looking for."

Kelly said something but Carlos couldn't make out what. "You know darn well what I'm looking for, Kelly." The man answered. Carlos looked up at him confused. Just what are they looking for?

"Don't play dumb with me," the man said. The man behind Carlos tightened his grip on the teen's arm, causing him to whimper in pain. "It will not end well for little Carlitos here, as well as the other three of Big Time Rush, if you do."

The man then laughed. "That'a girl, Kelly. Go to your boss and tell him to come back to Rocque Records immediately." Carlos turned his head to look over at his friends, they looked just as terrified as him. "I don't care if he's in a meeting. Get in there and stop it or the small Mexican here will get a bullet in his body. You understand me? I'm not messing around."

Carlos shivered in fear when he felt the cool metal of the gun pressed up against his back. The man paused. "I don't think you're in any position to be bargaining with me."

Another pause. The man sighed, annoyed. He turned around and signaled to his partner, who dragged Carlos over to him. Carlos was then freed from his restraints. "Make it quick, kid." The man orded, handing the phone to Carlos.

The Latino placed the phone against his ear. "Hello?"

"Carlos?" He heard Kelly's voice through the phone. He could tell she was worried sick. "Are you okay? Have they done to hurt you?"

Carlos shook his head. "No, I'm fine, Kelly."

"What about the other guys? Are they okay?"

Carlos took a deep breath. "Yeah, they're fine too."

"Oh thank god." Kelly gave a relieved sigh. "Listen to me, Carlos. Do everything they tell you to, Gustavo and I will be back soon. We're going to get you guys out there, I promise."

"Okay-" Carlos started to say before the phone was yanked out of his hand.

"It's like I told you, they're fine," the man said. "Now you listen to me. If you and your boss are not back here in the next hour, one of these boys will die. Perhaps maybe I should prove to you that I'm serious."

The man then pointed his gun at the ceiling and fired, causing Carlos to jump in fear. "You have one hour, understand?" The man said, shoving Carlos over to his partner. He paused. "Good." There was an evil smirk on his face. "See you soon." He then hung the phone up and turned to his partner. "Tie him back up and then put him back against the wall."

The other man nodded and before Carlos knew it, his hands were tied behind his back again. He was then dragged over to the wall where his friends sat, and harshly thrown into Kendall. "Sorry," Carlos apologized to Kendall before sitting up and positioning himself next to the blond.

"Not your fault," Kendall said and glaring at the men.

The shorter man smirked at the boys before sitting up on Kelly's desk, keeping his gun next to him. "Time to have some fun, boys."

The boys looked at him terrified. Just what was he planning to do?


End file.
